As so often happens at the beginning of January, we look forward to leaving behind those habits that have haunted us for the past year or often longer.

We focus on our addictions or actions as if the magical date on the calendar will turn us into someone we can stop despising. We focus on what we see on the surface instead of the underlying

We resolve to change. Promising ourselves that this will be the year we shed those pounds, give up smoking, make more money, take more time off or become organized.

Some choose all of the above.

We set more alarms, exorcize more, eat less, budget time, chew more gum, buy file cabinets and clean out email boxes.

In short, we add so many expectations to the new year that we set ourselves up for failure. We rush ahead to crush old lifestyles overnight that didn’t appear overnight. We built them bit by bit and if we taking a wrecking ball to our lives in order to demolish it all at once we forget that we have to rebuild and that takes time.

In the past two years instead of resolutions I’ve chosen words. One word to focus on for the year. Through the months I would go back and visit my words, letting them linger in my mind. Settling in my soul took deliberate steps. I didn’t take on the whole year at once. I took it day by day with just a word.

One Word 365 encourages you to forget the New Year’s resolutions and lists of goals.

The first year I chose Galvanize. Interestingly enough I found that the fruit of that word more in this past year than in the year it was intended.

My word last year was Reconciliation.

It’s the ninth day of a brand new year.

As I thought about what to choose this year I decided to go easy on my self. After all, I already have a phrase I’m working with and it goes along with my belief that moving forward in life shouldn’t be rushed. It plays right into the belief that changing life’s habits can take time as well as effort.

My own saying “Live Gently, Love Passionately” reminds me to take on life with simplicty and unashamed kindness.

We must treat ourselves, others and the world we live in with kindness. We would do well to focus on loving without limits. If we truly bring unconditional love into every situation and regard life as a precious commodity then we find the strength to change what needs to be changed.

Let’s do something really new this year. Let’s take the whole year moment by moment. Treasure the joyous, learn from the painful and move into the freedom that each day holds. We will gently move forward with deliberate steps, trying new ways to conquer old problems.

In those small movements may we all find a new resolve and a new focus as well.

This article originally appeared at NRTODAY.COM