If there is one word for what I have craved most in my life, I would say it’s connection. Of course, I want to belong, and for years I equated fitting in with belonging. I also believed that my value was only in my beauty or my abilities. I’m glad I was wrong. I’m glad my value doesn’t depend on what I look like or what I can do. My value is already determined by the creator of the universe. The God of heaven and earth believed I was worth creating. I hold intrinsic value that can’t and won’t be changed or challenged by anything outside of who he made me to be.
For many years, my gift of hospitality has intersected with my desire to please people. I wanted to prove my worth to the world around me. Spending hours planning for dinners or events only made me feel tired and set apart from my guests. I’d traded simple beauty for complicated entertaining that may have impressed a few but didn’t make people feel valued for who they were. I didn’t take the needs of others into consideration. I cared more about what they would think of me. I was on an emotional treadmill that sped up the harder I ran. There was no rest or time to build endurance. It was all about the end result, and my journey became lost in the shuffle. It was a revolving door leading to isolation. There was nothing in this habit that led me to intimacy with Christ or those around me to their destiny.

Read the rest at The Glorious Table

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